age_of_dreams (age_of_dreams) wrote,


Pairing: YooMin/Ski
Rating: PG-13 (to be safe)
Genre: a little bit of everything...XD 

Note: I started this with the "Gluttony" prompt in mind, but somehow the fic took an unexpected turn and now I think it fits the "Japan" prompt better. XD
Takes place during their first period in Japan. I made up everything about the place they live in, so if you see some big mistake consider it  an artistic licence  tell me, ok? XDD

This is my first fanfic EVER (if you don't consider a couple of failed attempts), so don't laugh at me too much , please? ^^'

Changmin couldn’t sleep.
After staring at the red numbers on the digital clock for what it felt like four hours (even if not even half an hour had passed) he decided he’d had enough of tossing and turning restlessly in his bed already.
The tiled floor felt cold under his bare feet, but he didn’t bother to put a pair of slippers on because he couldn’t quite remember where he’d dropped them before going to bed, and he didn’t want to wake his bandmates up. All of them had got “home” late in the evening after a seemingly endless day of torturing practice sessions, too exausted to do anything but stumble tiredly in their beds without even bothering to eat something. And now Changmin was starving, of course.
He moved slowly through the dark room, trying to reach the door without bumping into too many beds in the process, eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light filtering through the shutters. As usual, Jaejoong and Yunho were curled around each other on Jaejoong’s bed, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle; Changmin could vaguely see – imagine, more like – the satisfied and peaceful smile gracing Jae’s lips, and felt a sudden pang of envy towards the two of them. He envied the bond they had, the feeling of having someone to share everything with, included the loneliness of having to live in a country – Japan – where everything seemed hostile and foreign. He had DBSK, of course – they were the best family he could’ve ever wished for – but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t.
His gaze wandered towards the still form of Yoochun for an instant before he could force away the thought that was forming in his mind. Yoochun was his friend – his brother – and nothing more, and that wouldn’t change even if he wished to. Period.
Changmin slipped out of their shared bedroom, closing softly the door behind him. The hallway was a bit brighter, making it easier for him to reach the small kitchen of their Tokyo apartment without incidents, since he wasn’t very used to the place yet. The white fridge sat in a corner, welcoming him with his soft buzz; it was almost empty, though, Changmin noticed with no small disappointment, only a couple packets of instant ramen and some fruit resting on the shelves. He took out a packet before giving it a second thought and taking two. He was Changmin, after all.
He sat at the table waiting for the water to boil, resting his head on his hand, thoughts inevitably straying to Yoochun. Even if he himself had to admit it was childish, he couldn’t help but try and catch his older bandmate’s attention every time they were together with the other members, and the lack of response from Yoochun was rapidly getting frustrating.
The sound of boiling water distracted him from his musings; he stood up quickly, turning off the gas and then pouring the hot water over the noodles. Steam rose from the bowl, the delicious smell of food filling his nostrils and making his empty stomach growl. He went to the window, bowl and chopsticks in hand, and looked outside, the spectacular view of Tokyo’s night lights stretched out around and under him.
“I see I’m not the only one awake at this hour” a soft, deep voice said behind him, and Changmin nearly jumped out of his skin, almost dropping his precious bowl in the process. He turned around sharply, glaring at Yoochun. “Don’t do that ever again!!! You nearly gave me an heart attack!” he complained, trying to keep his voice as low as possible not to wake the others and to sound offended at the same time. He wasn’t, though.
Yoochun chuckled, the low and sexy sound sending unwanted shivers down the younger boy’s spine.
“What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked his bandmate.
“I couldn’t sleep. And I was hungry” Changmin replied, defensively. “What about you?”
“Same here” answered Yoochun, joining him by the window.
“I made instant ramen” Changmin added after a few moments of silence “want some?”
At Yoochun’s affirmative nod, the younger boy went to retrieve another bowl, put half of his ramen in and handed it to his bandmate, who simply smiled in thanks and took the offered bowl.
Sitting side by side, they ate in silence, but it was a kind of silence that didn’t hold any trace of uneasiness or discomfort; and for the first time in days Changmin felt peaceful, as if all his worries had been swallowed by the silence of the night and by Yoochun’s presence. He could feel the older boy’s shoulder pressed lightly against his, the warmth of his body strangely comforting; he closed his eyes, tiredness finally managing to overcome him.
Changmin felt someone shaking him gently. Opening his eyes, he realized he’d fallen asleep on Yoochun’s shoulder, and immediately straightened up again, trying to ignore his bandmate’s half-amused, half-affectionate smile.
“How long have I been asleep?” he asked, his voice a bit thick.
“Oh, about half an hour – maybe it’s better if you go to bed, now.”
Changmin nodded. “I’m going, then. Are you coming too?”
Yoochun shook his head. “I’ll stay here for another while.”
The younger boy stood up, but before he could take a step he felt Yoochun’s warm hand closing around his.
“Thank you, Min” he whispered, squeezing Changmin’s hand once before letting go.
He wasn’t talking about the food, somehow Changmin knew it. “You’re welcome” he whispered back, and Yoochun looked up and smiled at him. Not the player smile that made women swoon and sigh, but the soft, loving smile that Yoochun reserved for his family and his closest friends, a smile that always made Changmin’s heart clench in hope and longing.
“Goodnight” the younger boy said quietly, unable to meet his bandmate’s eyes, and before Yoochun could reply he had already disappeared down the hallway.
The night after his encounter with Yoochun, Changmin couldn’t sleep. Again.
Even if it had been another hard day, this time around Jaejoong had made sure they all ate properly, but he was still hungry…and very much awake.
Sighing, he sneaked out of their bedroom and tiptoed to the kitchen. He went straight to the fridge and patted the shiny handle affectionately. “So here we meet again, huh?” he said, feeling a bit silly for talking to a fridge, but not really caring.
“Is that the fridge you’re talking to? How very Changmin-like” chucked a very amused voice behind him.
It took Changmin a few minutes to recover from the fright. And then he spun around, glared at Yoochun, and pounced on him. They both fell on the floor, and the older boy let out a small “Ooof” of surprise when the younger (and taller) one landed straight on his stomach, effectively knocking the wind out of him. Changmin started tickling his sides mercilessly with an evil glint in his eyes, Yoochun’s attempts to get free making them roll on the floor together.
Their playful struggle ended with the two of them still on the floor, both trying to catch their breath; Yoochun, who had somehow managed to roll on top of Changmin, was laughing silently, muffling his laughter against Changmin’s neck. It felt a bit ticklish, the younger boy decided – but the warm, tingly sensation that came from Yoochun’s lips against his skin was far from unpleasant.
Finally the older boy got up from the floor, holding out his hand to help the other up.
“What was that for?” protested Yoochun, a look of mock outrage plastered on his face.
“Serves you well, hyung” Changmin replied cheekily “and I did warn you yesterday, didn’t I?”
Their casual nighttime encounters started to become not-so-casual anymore, even if they never talked about them in front of the others – or even between themselves. It was a little secret kept by the silence of the night, and maybe neither of them wanted to talk about it for fear of shattering that fragile, unnamed something they had.
Most of the time it was Changmin who got up first, shaking Yoochun lightly to see if he was awake. He usually was.
They would stumble in the dark towards the kitchen, sometimes holding on to each other for support, then Changmin would make ramen (they had tried most of the existing flavors, by now) and then they would eat side by side, sometimes chatting quietly, but more often in silence.
After a couple of weeks Changmin found a huge plate of freshly made sandwiches in the fridge, together with a note that said “Too much instant ramen is bad for your health, Minnie. And don’t eat them all, share some with Chun. ^o^” in Jae’s unmistakable bubbly handwriting.
JaeJoong’s motherly instinct still managed to surprise him, sometimes.
He turned around and showed the plate to Yoochun, who clapped his hands in delight, clearly happy at the thought of eating something different, for once.
“Our band mom did it again, didn’t he?” the older boy said “God, I couldn’t stand instant ramen anymore”.
Changmin tried to look offended, but he was happy as well. “Yeah, he’s insightful as always – and you should stop complaining so much. Unless you are volunteering to cook for us both next time, of course.”
Yoochun pouted cutely, stole the plate from his hands and went to slouch on the couch in their living room. Before sitting down as well, the younger one drew the curtains of the large window which stood in front of the couch, letting the soft glow of neon lights in.
“If you don’t mind those kanji too much it looks very much like Seoul, doesn’t it?” he said softly. Yoochun made an small noise of agreement, without taking his eyes off Tokyo’s night view. Changmin turned to look at his bandmate’s profile, clearly outlined against the dark wall.
“Yoochun, you…don’t you feel…” he struggled with words. He didn’t knew exactly what he wanted to say himself, didn’t knew the name of the hollow feeling inside his chest.
“…lonely?” the older boy finished for him. “Like you don’t want to be here at all?”
Changmin nodded hesitantly. “I miss Korea. I miss my family and my friends and all the people we know back there. And above all… I miss the way we used to be when we were there – the fact that we could be ourselves. Here we are so much…stiffer, unnatural. Everyone of us is trying so hard, but it feels like we’re making no progress at all.”
Yoochun didn’t say anything, but now he was looking straight at him, and Changmin saw the understanding in his eyes.
“Don’t push yourself too hard, Min”, he finally murmured. “You’re already doing great, even better than most of us. Better than me, definitely. Your Japanese is improving fast, and you can handle this new situation much better than we do. And you’re an example to us all – especially to me.”
Changmin felt tears rise to his eyes but tried desperately to hold them back, hating himself for looking so weak in front of Yoochun. The older boy cupped the side of his face hesitantly, but Changmin could sense the tenderness in his touch as the other stroked his cheek with his thumb, and closed his eyes, a lone tear rolling down to fall on Yoochun’s hand. His bandmate pulled him closer, and before Changmin could fully realize what was going on he felt Yoochun’s lips on his, soft and gentle and comforting exactly as the other boy was.
They pulled away slowly. Changmin’s heart was beating fast, his emotions a tangled mass of confusion, uncertainty and…hope. He touched his hand to his lips and looked at Yoochun, but neither of them seemed to know what to say.
The older boy pulled himself together first, took the empty plate that sat between them and brought it to the kitchen; but when Changmin finally decided to follow him, Yoochun had already left, leaving him alone.
The following days were hard for both. Yoochun spoke to him only when he absolutely needed to, and Changmin did pretty much the same. The others could perceive the unspoken tension between them, hanging in the air like electricity before a storm, and it was affecting their performance as a group, too. Yunho kept snapping at the other four over meaningless things until JaeJoong cornered him with an icy glare and told him flatly to shut up, or Else, while Junsu seemed moodier than usual.
Changmin wanted to speak to Yoochun about what happened between them that night, but he didn’t even know where to start. He knew that something in their relationship had changed, but he couldn’t fully understand the extent of that change. He’d been in love with Yoochun for a long time, but what about the other? Was that kiss just meant to be a friendly way to comfort him or was it something more? Yoochun was the one holding all the answers, but clearly he wasn’t willing to share them with him, thought Changmin bitterly.
He stopped getting up at night, too. He just lay in bed awake for most of the night, staring at the ceiling and listening to Yoochun tossing and turning in his bed. There was some sort of grim satisfaction in knowing that the Cause Of It All couldn’t sleep, too.
At the 13th sleepless night, though, Changmin couldn’t take it anymore. He was fed up with the whole situation, and since Yoochun had no intention of speaking to him during the day, maybe he would talk to him at night.
So he got up (taking care to bump into Yoochun’s bed as he passed, just to make sure the moron would hear him) and went to the kitchen; seeing the familiar place, enveloped in quietness and silence, made him realize for the first time how much he really missed the time he used to spend there with his older bandmate. Sighing, he leaned against the fridge and waited.
He was a bit surprised when he saw Yoochun appear in the doorframe after only a couple of minutes; they looked at each other for a while, without speaking.
“Hey” Changmin eventually greeted, a bit warily.
Yoochun snorted. “ What, does it mean you’re going to talk to me again?” He replied, an edge of sarcasm evident in his tone.
Changmin was so taken aback by those words that for a moment he completely forgot about what he was going to say. Only for a moment, though.
“What…what the fuck are you saying?!!” he finally exploded. “You’re the one who has been avoiding me since that night! Every time I try to talk to you, you always make up some stupid excuse and leave me there like an idiot – as if it was my fault if that happened, to begin with!”
Changmin was shaking with fury, hands tightly fisted at his sides. Suddenly Yoochun was in front of him, looking angry as well; he shoved the younger boy against the fridge, pinning him there with the full weight of his body. Changmin flinched, but kept looking at Yoochun defiantly, without attempting to get free.
“Why didn’t you say something – anything – when I kissed you? Why do you keep hiding behind Jae when we are together, so you don’t have to face me? I showed you what I feel, and if you don’t want me, at least say so!”
There was a second of absolute silence, during which Changmin could hear only Yoochun’s harsh breathing and the beat of his own heart.
“Show me again, then” he whispered “Show me.”
Yoochun yanked him down, hard, and pressed their lips together. There was nothing gentle in that kiss: it was intense and needy and desperate, and after a moment of hesitation Changmin answered back with the same fierceness. The older nibbled at Changmin’s lower lip, and he parted his lips in response, allowing Yoochun to slip his tongue into his warm mouth. Their tongues slid against each other, a fierce battle for dominance that wasn’t meant to prove anything, really, since everything had been proven already. Changmin moaned softly at the sensation of Yoochun’s experienced tongue caressing the inside of his mouth and gripped at the back of his shirt, pulling him even closer. The older boy’s hands rested on Changmin’s hips, slipping under his pajama top to stroke the smooth skin of his sides.
They parted just a little, panting, and Yoochun pressed an open-mouthed kiss against Changmin’s smiling lips before moving down to nibble at the soft skin of his neck. His lips latched on the sensitive spot at the junction of shoulder and neck and started sucking slightly, tongue occasionally darting out to taste the salty flavor of damp skin.
“Leave a mark there and I’ll kill you, hyung” warned Changmin “We have a photoshoot, tomorrow.”
Yoochun snorted and buried his face into Changmin’s neck, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“Min, you sure know how to kill the mood, don’t you?” He said in the end, looking at the young man in his arms.
“I don’t want you to get too carried away, that’s all” he answered back “and I don’t want to be yelled at by the make-up ladies, tomorrow – you know how scary they are!”
Yoochun just smiled at him with tenderness, and Changmin felt his knees buckle under him.
“Look…I’m sorry about the way I behaved to you…but I was too afraid of your answer and too proud to admit I was acting like a jerk” he murmured, and Changmin’s hands tightened around him in response.
“We are both too proud” agreed the younger one “two proud idiots.” He chuckled dryly. “It took us so long to get here, didn’t it?”
“Yes” answered Yoochun quietly “but we are here now, aren’t we?”
Changmin smiled and bent down to kiss him again. “Yes.”
“You seem in a very good mood today, Minnie…did something happen?” Jaejoong murmured in his ear during a break in their photoshoot, looking at his younger bandmate and trying to hide his knowing grin behind an innocent smile.
Changmin smiled back at him with the same innocent air, but his eyes darted instinctively towards Yoochun, who was talking to the photographer a few feet away. Yoochun turned around, catching Changmin’s eyes on him, and winked. Jaejoong’s grin just got wider and saucier.
The younger boy rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation at both his hyungs’ behavior, but laughed.
“Yes” he answered, more to himself that to Jae. “Something happened, definitely.”
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